life mess up

it been a while i din updated my blog.
a lonely night actually
after a rain war yesterday between myself,
my feeling kinda mess up
it going wrong i being introduced by someone.
this person is so special when hanging out
just treat as friend from the start.
everything will going fine.
when the time past,
felt that i m falling in love without realizing,
my feel all goes wrong,
i cant falling in love.
what happen to me?
i cant falling in love with that person that i should,
but i cant control myself,
my best friends asked me: how sure i m?
i said more than 100% sure
my best friends asked me: how to control the feeling to fall to someone?
i answer i cant control,just fall to it.cant pull myself.
every time i chat,talk,msg.
i felt secure,sweet,happy
but at the same time
i felt suffer,confused,sad.
should i continue to falling in love with u or i just stop it.
i scare i will lost u.
even i meet u,i scare i cant control my self..
this all happen wrong when i meet u,i know u.
i blame myself i shouldn't know u from the start.
i cant ask u to break up.
i cant even do the worst thing to u.
let me suffer myself and u happy for ur life.
i think the best way is just let u go.
i will miss u n remember u in my life always.
what happen between us wouldn't have a happy ending in this situation.
take good care of urself.
i hope we can know earlier.
still hoping the miracle but i know it wont...
c what u decided.......